irritability

[anthony.saxby@ntlworld.co]

Hi,
I am desparate for some support for my wife and family.My wife was diagnosed with graves 10 years ago and is now 32.We have 2 pre-school children who my wife looks after full-time.
Anyway my issue/Question is that my wifes personality is to put it mildly erratic.She will lose her temper at the most trivial things which are not the normal stresses of everyday life.We have been together for 5 years and I want to stay with her but her temper is gradually grinding me down and I don't know where to turn.I have read that graves and thyroxine can cause irritability and wondered if anyone else had noticed a change similar to this in themselves or partner and how they dealt with it.I would appreciate any feedback as I want my family to be happy and my kids to grow in a stable environment.

[NastyHashi]

I am a 36 year old guy with Graves' and best I can describe it for me when I get flare ups is like this.....

You know back in high school when you played football or worked out and the coach gave you that pep talk right before the game? How pumped up you felt? You felt like running out of the locker room and smacking the first person you saw on his butt?

That is what Graves' is like.

You are hot, uncomfortable, irritable, hungry, shaky, nervous. Its like being on fire with a mix of dizziness and nervousness.

On top of the real symptoms, it is a disease that is difficult to regulate which weighs very heavy on the mind. Comments from my wife when first being diagnosed like "snap out of it already" or "will you stop your crap" or "what is your problem" doesn't tend to help much but to her benefit she didn't understand the disease at first and she didnt really know how crappy I really felt. Its hard. I am sure as much as she is giving you in grief, she is supressing 80% more of it by herself. Its true. Its embarassing almost. I am a 36 year old MAN. The last thing I wanted to do was to complain to my wife all the time about how crappy I felt so I bottled most of it in and almost landed myself in the crazy house.

You need to read up on it, be as compassionate as possible and most importantly, get her fixed. If she is confirmed to have Graves' just get that thyroid nuked with RAI. Its not worth having it around when you can pop a pill each day to get your hormones.

I took the hard road and dealt with this crap forever it seems. I ultimately went into some type of remission but it was a brutal 3 years. If it ever comes back I am walking myself straight into the hospital to swallow the glowing pill to kill my thyroid forever.

Trust me on this. I've said this on other boards plenty of times. Graves' and Hashi's is just as much a mental disease as it is physical.

Your vision is off, your body temp is off, you digest incorrectly, you are hot, it throws off all your other hormones, etc.....it really screws you up and I know that at my worst I was either REALLY ****ed off or REALLY depressed....there were not many days in between where I felt fine and it wears you down quickly.

Get help.

If it is so important to you, take a ride to the Mayo clinic whereever it may be in relation to you and check your wife in for a week for a TOTAL, REAL workup. The clinic basically checks you in and overehauls whatever needs overhauling before letting you go. If you go to an Endo who specializes in Diabetes, you will be spinning your wheels. Go somewhere to really address the problem and get it resolved or you will be dealing with this for a long time.

Good luck to you.

[GD Women]

Do I relate!!!!

Graves' Disease effects all parts of our well being, physically and mentally.

What your wife is experiencing is called Graves' Rage. I don't believe it has anything with or at least too much, with our meds or levels. Its just Graves'. If your wife had any type of mental issues way back before Graves', Graves' will exacerbate it as well.

Its not the same for everyone, some will experience Graves' Rage worse than others. It doesn't necessarily have to be Graves' Rage, however Graves' can and does effect the mind in some, not all, Gravers.

I was diagnosed and treated with Graves' 10 years ago too. I had/have Graves' Rage. It comes on without warning and without control, and not a very nice situation, in fact, down right ugly. I fought antidepressant for a few years, however almost lost my family and friends so finally broke down and took antidepressants - it helped tremendously. Now I take anxiety pills on a as need bases which is really not that often, its mostly when I am around people who I have problems or issues with, although I have to be really true to my feelings. Example, if I feel that something might bother me that hasn't yet, but think it just might even hours later, I go ahead and take anxiety meds. for just incase, based on past experiences. It really helps. Some day I will be off of them all together, but right now they are my security blanket.

It you can get your wife to take antidepressant it will help all concerned and I know she will be happier too. It doesn't have to be forever, just long enough to get the emotions and brain back to where they should be.

I searched the net on different antidepressant and picked ones that had the least side effects. You wife might fight the idea at first or she might need some sort of wake up like it took me. Keep the suggestion out there to her, but to the point it will not turn her off, which can be a little tricky, a lot of finesse needed.

I feel for all of you, especially your wife for it she feels like I did (I always hated myself after an episode and it drained me) its not pleasant. You guys don't have to go through this, there is help, in a tiny pill.

[Mal Deeley]

Hi

I can relate to your wifes mood swings etc, I went through it myself, anger, pain, emotional lows, insomnia the list goes on, and I put my wife through hell and more with it. I have sent you a personal message about it all, hope you get it.

I too am in UK and it seems treatments and doctors attitudes are very different here than in the states, my doctor told me nothing, I've learnt most what I know now from you guys, so thanks for all the posts and advice.

its very difficult to understand it, espically when people who dont understand use the following

"try to relax" they dont know what we are going through and from a personal view they dont want to know, thats when you know who your friends are....

Mal

[Debs]

Hi
I am a Mum of a graves patient and I know first hand how hard it can be to live with the mood swings, my daughter is 17 so I have hormonal issues added to the problem. I found this description on another site and it made me realise what they have to deal with:

"Emotional changes are common for patients with Graves' disease.
Many Graves' disease patients experience emotional and behavioural disorders throughout the course of their illness. Mood swings, bouts of crying and sometimes overwhelming anger are common and, when combined with the low self-esteem developed by patients who are dealing with changes in their appearance, can be devastating. It is very important for patients with Graves' disease to have a close, supportive network of friends, family, co-workers or fellow patients. Both to help with the emotional trauma associated with Graves' disease, and to help the patient rebuild interpersonal relationships that may have been affected negatively due to the disease"

My daughter has found Yoga beneficial in dealing with her stress levels and I know she uses the breathing techniques all the time to help with her panic attacks. Hang in there and just keep loving your wife, your doing a fantastic job in supporting her.

Debs

[Pinky926]

Finding this board was a blessing. It's a bit of a relief knowing I'm not alone.

I'm having all those symptoms you've all mentioned, and the fact that I'm a working, single mother of 5 boys doesn't make matters any easier. I'm 32 and I was diagnosed with Graves 12 years ago, and it only "got worse" during my pregnancies. I was in remission for a few years, but now it's back. I have proptosis in just one eye, plus I'm experiencing noticeable hair-loss which has lower my self-esteem by miles.

My boyfriend is having a hard time understanding and coping with my illness. My children are too young to understand so it gets pretty crazy, here. I cry every day because I am extremely depressed and I feel like nobody understands me. I agree with those who said that this disease doesn't just affect you physically, but mentally and emotionally, as well. I am a mess. I wish I could control what my body is going through, and because I can't, I get angry at myself, knowing that it's not my fault.

To the original poster, as others advised, read up on this frustrating illness. As hard as I know it is to have patience, at times, try. Remember, as hard as it is for you, it's even harder on her. Coming on this board and seeking help shows just how much you love her and want to be there for her. Kudos.

[GeekLady]

I'm a 51 year old woman and my symptoms appeared gradually and worsened. I attributed the mood swings - and the general feeling of being ****ed off at the whole world - to menopause. When I developed new symptoms I finally sought medical help and ultimately a referral to an endo who diagnosed me as having Grave's. Because of my age and TSH levels, RAI was recommended. I had the treatment on 5/25 and noticed a difference right away. The doc said that was a placebo effect, but hey, I'll take any improvements - psychomatic or not. :) Actually, for me the proof is in the heartbeat: mine went from 85+ beats per minute at rest to about 70 per minute, and my it isn't pounding like it was before. So, physically, I have to be less stressed. And it has only been a week.

Since your wife still may be of childbearing age, her Endo (if she hasn't seen one, please gently suggest that she might want to...) may not want to do RAI immediately. If you're planning to have more children right away, it isn't advisable. Since I never took the anti-thyroid med, I couldn't say with any certainty but I'd guess that her metabolism may have changed and she may need an adjustment to her med. Exercise does help a lot - it gave me a place to channel my anger sometimes.

NastiHashi explained it well. In my case, I really thought I was phycially well and just going through changes, kept telling myself to chill, and stop being so *****y to my husband. I didn't realize that there was an organic reason for my reactions. I thought something was wrong with my thyroid but I thought it was hypo because I kept gaining more and more weight, even though I was exercising all along on the treadmill and adding more time and distance to my workout. And I really thought that people were pushing my buttons on purpose, to get a rise out of me. I could see that I was reacting out of proportion to whatever trigger set me off, but by the time I realized it, it was too late and the damage was done. I would react without thinking. I thought my (formerly abundant) patience had completely run out. I kept expecting my energy level to match my heart rate, and it didn't. I was exhausted much of the time yet kept pushing myself to do more. With all of the self-criticism going on, if anyone else told me what I should do, I freaked.

I haven't started on the replacement hormone yet but right now, I feel 50% better. Except for the bone aches and headaches following the RAI, I wish I could feel this good forever. Right now, I feel "right". I know that I'll probably go Hypo, but if the meds can keep me at about this level, I'll be happy.

Good luck to both of you,
GeekLady

[DKlamm]

I did end up on the "nut house" several times. I have been suffering from this disease for (at least I believe 10 yrs or more?) without a diagnosis except (shrinks) that I am a anxious and depressed person. I have been through so many stresses that I thought it was just the circumstances. But it was the way I handled the problems and got out of control. I was even diagnosed bi-polar. Thank God, I finally got a doc to check me out throughly and act on the lab results. I looked back on some of my med records from 6 years ago and my thyroid labs were even worse (hyperthyroid) then they are now. Go figure.. My life would be much much different today if I had only had treatment. I would probably still be married, still have at least one of the jobs I lost due to illness, and even custody of my son. I probably would not have turned to alcohol to calm my nerves and not gotten hooked on Xanax.

I need to more forward and be thankful for now and for the fact that I am now being treated for the proper disease. I still can't help but be a little angry that it was not caught sooner.

[sparker]

I've had Graves for 5 years and recently had RAI. I experienced severe mood swings with no warning. I almost went out on stress level because of it and I feel that it will take time to rebuild my professional reputation after all the outbursts/confrontations I had with others. During all of this - even though we knew I had Graves - I kept being told I had a mood disorder and it was not connected to Graves. I'm posting because it is so important that people understand that this is part of the disease. For awhile I honestly thought I was going insane. I wish I had found this message board sooner as it would have helped to know that it was the disease and not me losing my mind.

[pink1]

I have this this rage.

I hit my girlfriend at the weekend. I was wondering what had come over me as I literally saw red for no reason.
If this is the explination how do I stop it?