At what point did your cancer become a reality for you?

[Octavia]

This message in another thread...

Maybe the diet restrictions actually made me mentally realize that I have cancer. I fought a little depression and shed a few tears.

...made me reflect on my own "denial" and subsequent "reality" experience.

For me, it was several weeks after my completion thyroidectomy. I was getting off the elevator at the hospital and walking through a very lovely set of glass doors with "Radiation Oncology" etched in them. I was meeting with the oncologist for the first time. It was like, "Wow...I guess I really do have cancer." There was no denying it at that point.

Of course, while in the waiting room, I was quick to notice that I had it pretty easy in comparison to some of the other patients who had much more severe situations they were dealing with. The best part? There's a bell just inside the etched "Radiation Oncology" door, and every once in a while, a patient will ring that bell hard on their way out the door, at which point everyone in the waiting area claps. The bell signifies completion of their last radiation treatment...how cool is that? (These are people with various cancers, not just thyroid, and they've had many radiation treatments in a short time, so it's a huge milestone. Really, I'm getting teary-eyed just writing about it.)

[webster2]

I knew ahead of time, even after refusing the FNA, twice. During the US, the tech was less than pleasant; her demeanor changed 1000%, and I knew she saw something. At my post-op appointment, hearing the path report really hit home, and I cried too. I think it was a mixture of emotions. Relief, that it was over was the biggest one. Best wishes to everyone taking that journey. This board made it so much easier.

[joplin1975]

Pior to my surgery, I went in for a full neck ultrasound and as we were getting ready the tech asked me "So, do you know what kind of cancer you have?"

I have no idea why that hit me so hard...I think because it was the first time someone said "cancer" without using any kind of qualifications like "non-aggressive" or "easily treatable" or "cancer with a little 'c'" etc etc etc.

[Butterflyjkg]

Hello... I am new here. This is my first post. I read this post and I felt like I had to reply. My long story short, My mom died from Thyroid cancer.. or so we always assumed. So my dentist told me my neck looked " different" when I went for my regular cleaning and I should " have that checked." The next day I was at my family doctor. I had 3 nodules.. and the tiniest one was " abnormal" according to one of my 20 neck biopsies. I didn't tell my dad or my sister or any of MY half of the family.. I kept it inside. I could NOT tell them. It was THE most horrible part of our lives when my mom had it and died. It destroyed everything about our family.. we sort of went our separate ways after that.... I went it alone.. except for my husband and kids and HIS part of the family. I didn't tell them until about 3 weeks after it was all over.

I will post my whole story in another area of this board. Again, Long story short, my doctor called me to tell me that my one biopsy was abnormal and NOT TO WORRY.. blah blah. I think I knew at that moment that it was not good.. but then again, WHAT are the odds that my mom would have it and then I WOULD??!!! It's SO RARE!! (nyuk nyuk).. so it was real for me from the start. I knew inside of me that it was not good news. Like my mom said.. " you just KNOW." I had both sides of my thyroid removed and my parathyroid is still in there. I had no further treatment...I was VERY lucky. I still won't say the C word and I don't want to even hear that word..I say that it was abnormal, which it was. It was papillary.. fully encapsulated and .8 cm....nothing anywhere else.. no lymph glands, etc. They tell me that it was just a miracle in itself that my dentist even noticed ANYTHING since I wasn't very enlarged... it was the hand of GOD is what it was....

I have very mixed feelings about it all.. like I said.. It's a WHOLE story in itself, which I am sure everyone's is...

I like to call my experience a SUPERNATURAL BOMBARDMENT. Things happened to me in those past months that were the hand of GOD . My husband said that I was "cradled" through the whole thing. Things that just do NOT happen... coincidences..?? Wonderful things.. like I said THINGS THAT JUST DO NOT HAPPEN!!!

I will search around on here and see where I could put some of my story that would really be inspiring for some people. I am so glad I found this place. I am not alone. hugs1